Ass Crack Bandit
It said quarter to five
but it was quarter to ass
You thought your plumbing was safe
but your jeans were half mast
Another coin down the drain
Now that's some change that won't last

25 cents at a time
He's taking our souls
Government man can't help
We're all alone
Are you feeling the breeze?
Did you pull your belt tight?
You know that it's wrong
You know that it's right
Out of the shadows
Down the coin goes
Why, oh why do you suppose?
(Only the Bandit knows)
(Woah-oh-oh-oh-woah-oh-oh-oh-oh)
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K Bandit
(Woah-oh-oh-oh-woah-oh-oh-oh-oh)
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K Can't stand it
Coins on the sidewalk
Coins in the palm of my hand
Coins in the Ass Crack
Or the eyes of a dead man
Drawn from the shadows
Quartered by fate
He's the Ass Crack Bandit
Enemy of the state
(Woah-oh-oh-oh-woah-oh-oh-oh-oh)
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K Bandit
(Woah-oh-oh-oh-woah-oh-oh-oh-oh)
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K Can't stand it
(Woah-oh-oh-oh-woah-oh-oh-oh-oh)
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K
He'll give you no quarter
But he'll
Give you a quarter
The government just takes your change away
Maybe we're the crooks
And he's the hero
Maybe he's the Messiah
Who's to say?
Save yourself a coin
For the ferryman
Crossing the river Styx Of your ass
Wipe the smile from your face kids
'Cause this ain't funny
And don't forget your Jukebox Money!
(Woah-oh-oh-oh-woah-oh-oh-oh-oh)
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K Bandit
(Woah-oh-oh-oh-woah-oh-oh-oh-oh)
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K Can't stand it
Can't stand the fear
Can't stand not knowing
Can't stand forever
Eventually we all bend over In the end
We all bend over In the end
We all bend over
Your brothers, your sisters
They all bend over
Your friends and enemies
They all bend over
You and me
We all bend over
Even the president
He bends over